I guess there’s not one big, solid reason for my silence on this blog. I’ve always had spells of hiding away and not being the most consistent blogger as this isn’t my first job, it’s a hobby that I love that sometimes has to take a back seat, whether that’s by choice or circumstance.
I thought that while I was in Canada, I’d be blogging all the time about my life here, doling out tips like Oprah gives away cars. And while I certainly had those moments, I never quite got into a full flow. In between the obvious reasons, like being exhausted after my job (my current job involves so much writing about travel and staring at screens that while I love doing that, coming home and doing the exact same thing didn’t quite appeal to me – I do like my variety) or feeling depressed and uninspired when I didn’t have a job, there were a few other underlying reasons I couldn’t really put my finger on.
There’s so much pressure with travel bloggers to find your niche, write consistently engaging and worthy content that has the potential to ‘go viral’, keep up with an ever-changing industry, build your audience, post frequently on social media, post the RIGHT things on social media… it’s overwhelming. It got to the point that every time I sat down to write something for my little corner of the internet, the pressure of all of those things would wash over me and I found that everything I felt like writing seemed like a waste of time, or just not good enough. So eventually I stopped forcing it, instead focusing on forcing my monthly updates, but even those got same-y when I felt I didn’t have enough to write about. And so the circle went on and on.
So it was time to figure out what I liked and what I didn’t, which is pretty much what we’re constantly doing throughout our lives anyway, blog or no blog. I needed to sort out in my own head what I wanted from blogging, what I wanted to come from this blog. And what I don’t want.
I want to write when I enjoy writing. I want to write when I have something to write about. I want to feel fine about writing a short post if I want to (I do have a habit of writing long posts, because SUPER short posts annoy me – overcompensating is never good, we women have always said this!). I want to be genuine and real.
I don’t want to write for the sake of it. I don’t want to stop writing. I don’t want this blog to become a chore for me or something I skip out on. I don’t want to feel the stupid pressure of writing in a certain way just to please an imaginary audience I should supposedly be writing for or posting specific kinds of pictures at specific times of day or week.
Along with writing about travel, I find that I like to just offload what’s on my mind in a more lifestyle-but-not-lifestyle way, a philosophical-but-not-full-on-philosophical way. And I want to make my blog more about that too, even if it’s not a 2,000 word complex thing. I started this blog ages ago, and while there are bloggers out there with thousands of followers celebrating their 1-year blogaversaries, that’s not me: I’ve blogged since 2012, on and off, built an ok level of audience, lost it, and now, oh hey, I’m back.
But this time I’m back with a different purpose, a new perspective, one with less pressure put on myself. I’m a little older, a little more self-assured and when I think about the bloggers I love and what they write about and how it aligns with what I want from my blog, I’m very sure this is the right way to go. Now just to work out how to do that..! And I hope whoever’s reading this will come along for the ride.